A Black Sheep's Redemption
by Silver Wolf16
Summary: Having served out her sentence and repaid her debt to society, Dawn Bellwether takes the first steps on returning to the right side of the law. Who and what she discovers on that road will change her in ways she never imagined possible.
1. Chapter : The First Crack In The Wall

**Author's Notes: Welcome to my first full length story set in the Zootopia universe. The character of David Brushtail is used with the permission of his creator. All other characters and settings are the property of Disney. **

**Please feel free to read and review. Now…without further ado, here we go….**

**A Black Sheep's Redemption**

**Chapter 1: The First Crack In The Wall**

I woke up in a cold sweat, bolt upright on my bunk, breathing rapidly. I'd given up on getting anything like eight hours of continuous sleep long ago. Hells, I slept like a lamb, all right—of the newborn variety, waking up every hour, two if I was lucky.

Always, it was the same nightmare scene playing back in my mind, like a bad DVD on permanent loop, that interrupted my sleep every night for the last four and a half years.

I had no idea what time it was. When you're in a six by ten concrete cell, you don't get much light to indicate roughly where you were in the day, nor a clock to tell time by. After what felt like an eternity, my breathing and heartbeat finally returned to what passed for normal. I fumbled around instinctively for my glasses…not like there was anything to see; I was the only one in my cell. I was put in here about a month ago and wore a white jumpsuit indicating that I was under a suicide watch.

Because, about a month ago, I braided a rope from my bedsheet, looped it around the rail of my bunk and the other end around my neck, and tried to take my own life.

That's right. I didn't stutter. I, Dawn Bellwether, former deputy mayor of Zootopia, tried to kill myself.

Why?

Anyone who wasn't living under a rock or in a cave in the middle of the heavens only knew where knew _why _I was here in the first place. The news only ran the story for…oh, a week. The short version: I merely devised a scheme to turn the city against itself to prove that predators couldn't be trusted.

And it damn near worked. No one could trace the rise in predator attacks back to me. It was the perfect plan.

One thing tripped me up, though. Ever see those parts in movies where the bad guy reveals their entire dastardly plan to the hero of the story? That was me to the letter. I'd gone so far off the deep end that I tried to kill my best friend since lambhood by turning her companion against her.

They should have won an award for the nearly flawless acting they pulled off that day. Even _I _was thoroughly fooled. When I pulled back the chamber on the pellet gun I held, I found blueberries in place of the serum I'd concocted from night howlers.

I've never liked admitting that I got outsmarted. I have a 165 IQ, confirmed. But…they managed to do it. Got every word of the big reveal recorded as well.

Long story short, it earned me five years at this lovely institution, although I was facing more like twenty. As the days crawled on, my mood went from anger that I was so easily outwitted to despondent. I couldn't take it anymore. The burden of what I had done had become too great to bear.

Ergo, my suicide attempt and my stint in this cell. I had nothing _but _time to think. I'd been sitting for a while when I heard a gruff voice call my name.

"Bellwether…it's time for your weekly psychiatric appointment. Hurry up."

As part of my sentence, I was required to visit the prison psychiatrist once a week. I sighed. Honestly I stopped counting after about the third week in. Every week was the same…I'd just sit in the chair provided for the hour, saying nothing. In part, because the psychiatrist was a fox by the name of Dr. Brushtail…and it reminded me of the irritating mammal that helped put me here. And well…I never liked the idea of opening myself to anyone.

Not to mention I knew what to expect—my degree (earned at the tender age of fifteen) was in political science, with a minor in psychology. For all the good it did me.

The guard pressed a button and spoke into the intercom, "Got Bellwether here for her weekly. You ready for her?"

"Send her in," the doctor replied crisply and professionally.

The door opened and I walked inside. Taking my usual chair, I sat down to begin our weekly staring contest.

"Hello, Dawn. Are you well today?"

"What do you think?" I snapped back.

"No further attempts of suicide, is there?"

"I'm here, aren't I? So I'd think the answer should be obvious."

He nodded. "Anything you wish to talk about?"

I just kept staring.

"Okay then…since I can't make any progress with silence, I'll have to…"

_All right, I've had enough. You want the story so much? Don't say I didn't warn you…, _I thought before taking a deep breath.

"You want to hear it from me why I did it…" I said, a note of bitterness to my voice, trying to hold in my temper. "Am I right?"

"That would be a great start, Dawn. I may be a psychiatrist but I'm afraid I don't have a talent for reading minds."

_Good grief, he even has _his_ penchant for sarcasm. _"Because I'd had enough." I answered.

"Enough of what?"

"Where do I start?" I said with heavy sarcasm. Thelist of things that had caused me to snap read like the city phone book. Or an unabridged dictionary. "Being bullied, pushed around, belittled, and abused by everyone around me. Most of all by that fool Lionheart. Feeling small, weak, and helpless. The anger I felt when I found my mother dead in a back alley from a predator attack. I could go on but we only have an hour."

"I see. I can extend the session if it's necessary, so how long we have isn't a factor. The question I want to ask is this…was what you did fair?"

"Fair?" I said, incredulous. "As if how _I _was treated was any better?"

"No, it wasn't. Two wrongs never made a right, Dawn…," he replied.

"Tell me, then…what in the hell was I supposed to do? Just roll over and take it like a good little prey animal? I did nothing _but _take it for years! It just kept going and never stopped. So I finally snapped and pushed back."

"I understand how you feel, but…"

"You understand how _I _feel?" I said, biting back a bitter and mirthless laugh. "Seriously? You don't even know the half of it! To feel like you're little better than dirt under someone's shoe!" I shouted. "Until you've walked a _yard _in my shoes, much less a mile, then what right do you have to judge me?"

"I don't have the right to, and that isn't my job in any event. A jury of your peers already has."

"Do you really think I _wanted _to go that far? I didn't, damn it all! I _know _I went too far! I was at the end of my rope. No one would help me so I did something myself. Even if it was the dumbest idea a smart person could have…it cost me everything I held dear…" By this point I was nearly hysterical. The wall I'd built around myself had cracked, and all of the frustration and anger at my lot in life burst forth with the fury of a raging river.

I could feel the tears that I'd held back for so long. "I had no one. Do you know how it feels to be so utterly alone? Do you know how it feels to have the whole world push you down?"

"Didn't you have any friends to talk to? Or a counselor? Holding back resentment is harmful in the long run." He replied.

"Just one. And I repaid her loyalty by trying to kill her. I was that far out of my mind."

"Okay."

"I just…want to make it right now. To start over. But I know I _can't. _How could anyone _want _to be my friend after that? Or forgive what I've done?"

"I can't answer that for you."

"I _hate _what I did. With the undying fire of the sun. But…who would believe me? Who would believe I _want_ to change? I'm _still _scared to death of predators. That much hasn't changed…"

"Understandable…"

"But…I don't _want _to be scared anymore. I'm tired of it. I just want to do my time and go to some place…and just live out the rest of my years where I don't have to look over my shoulder all the time. Away from everyone else. I've already screwed up enough lives, my own included. People hate me, and I can't blame them."

"But _I _don't hate you."

"It's your _job _not to. But tell me, if we just passed each other on the street, knowing what I did, could you still say that?"

"Without hesitation."

I shook my head. "That's all well and good but…there's a whole lot more that do. And once my time is up, I'll have to go back into the world and face them. I'm not sure I can. That's why I want to put some miles between myself and the city."

"I see…" he replied, checking something in my file on his desk. "You're from Springview Rural District, are you not?" he inquired.

"Yes. Born and raised there."

"That's…interesting."

"Why?"

"Oh, nothing really. Idle curiosity. Anyway, to get back to the subject at hand…what do you feel now?"

"About what? Predators? I told you, I'm scared of them still," I said, pausing to take a breath before continuing. "Being here, though…I realize that not all of them are what I thought them to be. Neither, it seems, are my own kind."

"Well, that's an improvement over when you arrived here. But…I was wondering more about your emotional state."

"I'm not suicidal anymore, if that's what you're asking. Just tired and weary. All I want to do anymore is finish my sentence, and disappear into my own little corner of the world. Alone, since the chance of making any friends after this train wreck is a hair above that of the chances of a snowflake in hell. I screwed up. Got that memo already."

The only place I had left to go was the house where I was raised—not that anyone lived there anymore. It was the only thing my mother had left to me, and she'd been dead for nearly ten years now. My father had deserted us before I was born, I was an only child, what family I had was scattered all over the place, and I had managed to ruin the only friendship I had in spectacular fashion.

Outside of turning myself into the city's arch villain, I had few accomplishments in my life. Seriously, you could fit them on a sticky note and still have room. Class valedictorian, captain of the Springview High (and Zootopia University) academic teams for the duration of my attendance at either institution, graduate _magna cum laude, _and Most Likely To Be The Crazy Cat Lady If Zootopia Actually Had Nonsentient Cats. I'm _not _making that last one up. I have the proof in my yearbook. The only thing worse than my social life was my love life. I dressed in a style that screamed nerd from atop the highest mountains. If anyone of the opposite gender even looked in my direction…I was positive that they were trying to get the attention of someone behind me. The only person that had ever kissed me was my mother.

"Dawn, are you…?" I heard, bringing me out of mulling just how horribly my life had gone to now.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine."

"Well…we've actually made some progress, for once. It only took four and a half years to get there…but it's progress."

I just shook my head. "Like I said, I've just grown tired and weary of it all. I'm just tired of fighting it anymore. You want to know why I did it, well, there it is. Do I regret it? Only every single waking moment. My life has been a never ending nightmare since that day. I'm just…alone and broken, that's all."

"Well, you can choose to stay alone, or you can do something about it."

"Oh, can I now?" I shook my head slowly. "In case _you _might have forgotten, I'm only the person who nearly ripped the city apart out of selfish revenge. If I even got the time of day from anyone, it would be miraculous. Hell, doc…even my _own _kind can't stand me now. If I were to drop off the face of the planet tomorrow I wouldn't be missed. They might even throw a party."

Dr. Brushtail shook his head. "Dawn…no one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

"What?"

"It's…a saying from a historical figure. But it means _you _choose how you see yourself. No one can change that unless you _allow _them to."

"Well, it's not like…"

"You _admit _that you messed up in life. That's the first step to overcoming it…to grow from your mistakes. Where you go from that point is up to you. But…don't throw away the second chance at life you've gotten. That's something that many don't get."

_That _got my attention. "A…second chance?"

"Dawn, have you forgotten already? It's been a month since you tried to take your own life, and…if it weren't for my timely intervention, you wouldn't be sitting in that chair today."

"What do you mean?" The question wasn't about the attempt; I knew what I'd done. But what did _he _do to intervene? I…couldn't remember anything from that time.

"It was I who found you hanging from your bed rail. I cut you down myself because, oddly, there were no guards around—and, after I saved you, I sent off a rather heated letter to the secretary of the Department of Corrections about your treatment. Actually, 'heated' might be an understatement. I was downright livid. Let's just say that the warden and half the guards were summarily fired after a full investigation…one which managed to stay _off _the media radar. You might be the one who perpetrated the biggest scandal in the history of the city, true, but…you don't deserve to be treated as less than a person."

I stared at him, wide eyed in surprise. That _anyone _would say that after what I did was…astonishing, considering that I thought of _myself _as less than a person. After what I'd done, who wouldn't think of themselves that way…except a truly twisted and evil soul, and I hadn't _quite _sunk that low.

"Afterwards, you were so close to death. For a week you lay unconscious in the infirmary. The doctor said that even if you _did _wake up, there may be irreversible brain damage from lack of oxygen for so long. You…would likely be a shell of yourself, unable to walk, talk,…anything. At least, that's what the 'best and brightest' here said."

_They had written me off, huh…_I thought. _Doesn't surprise me. _

"I…sat by your bedside that entire week, at least as much as my duties would ethically allow. The head of the infirmary was an old college buddy of mine, so he didn't mind my…extended visitation. So many times I fell asleep in the chair I kept beside your bed…and I didn't sleep by choice, but because I'd stayed awake for so long I dozed off. When you finally woke up, I was…quite relieved, and that you escaped any ill effects from that episode was nothing short of miraculous."

"Why?" I asked, genuinely curious. "Why would you do all that for me? After what I did…to your kind?"

"Because _I _won't write you off like most everyone else here has. First of all I have a duty to you as your psychiatrist to look after your mental health. But…it's also not in my blood to stand by and let that happen to anyone, regardless of their transgressions against society. After all, you're here to pay the debt you owe that society. My job is to help you find your way back to being a responsible member of society again."

"I see…."

"I think everyone who truly in their heart wishes to change should have a second chance. And…I think you really do want to change."

"I _want _to, yes." I said. "But…"

"Tell me, would you do what you did again?"

"No. Never again." That scene in the museum…where I thought Nick had killed Judy…it was burned into my mind. It was what I kept seeing in my nightmares. And I was fervently grateful that it all turned out to be a ruse. I…didn't want to think about the alternative.

"Well, then, that's a step in the right direction. What does it matter how the rest of the world thinks of you? _You're _dedicating yourself to a new path in life. As long as you stay true to that change and keep walking down that path, people will eventually come around. But it _will _take time. After all, you didn't get to where you are in a day…and opinions about you won't change in a day either."

"Okay."

"Well, we've definitely overrun our time…by a fair margin. I'd like you to think about what's been said in here. You've finally managed the first step. Now I want you to consider what to do with it."

I nodded and stood to walk back to the door. "Doc…" I said, pausing.

"Yes, Dawn?"

"Thank you…" I whispered. "For giving me a chance. For listening to me. And I really mean it…" As I was walked back to my cell, I felt…different. A little lighter. I was so used to being mistreated that I had forgotten what real kindness felt like. Not just something to protect an image, but from the heart. It made me wonder what I'd do once I left these walls. _Finally someone gives a damn about me and I'm going to lose them soon. Story of my life, I guess. I mean…it's not like he's going to come around after I'm out of here._


	2. Chapter 2: A Decision Made

**Chapter 2: A Decision Made**

I let out a deep sigh after the office door closed. I hadn't _meant _to go that far over schedule. We'd burned about three hours. I had fully expected this session with her to go much like the last hundred plus had over the course of her time served…which consisted of about fifteen minutes of staring before I cut the appointment short.

I mean, there was no point wasting time in trying to wring something out of a stone, was there? I suppose resembling one of the people that put her here didn't help in that regard—as though I could change what I was. I guess if I'd ever told her that I was _his_ cousin—albeit distantly so-she'd lose it…but thankfully I could completely perform my duties without having to ever reveal that tidbit.

Imagine my surprise, then, when she actually talked…with actual answers instead of snide comments. She…definitely had some anger management issues to work through. Not to mention her self esteem.

I sat, thinking. _She said I hadn't walked a yard in her shoes. Oh, if she only knew. I would have pointed that out to her, but I'm not supposed to bring my personal background into her sessions._

The question about where she hailed from wasn't entirely random. I was also from Springview, although with its distinction of being the largest rural district surrounding the city of Zootopia, it didn't surprise me at all. Still…I didn't exactly have the best kithood.

I was the oldest of four siblings, living on the bank of the river that ran along the east edge of the district. When I was eight, the river flooded and wiped out my home. I…was the only survivor from my family. Having nowhere else to go, I wandered until I arrived in the city….and not the best part of it. I fell in with the wrong crowds. I became a troublemaker, and before long, found myself standing before a judge for the various crimes I'd committed.

That was when I first met my aforementioned cousin—now the first fox officer in ZPD, Nick Wilde. My second cousin's uncle's brother.

He was definitely the smooth talker then that he is now. He promised the judge that he'd set me down the right path in return for leniency from the court. Surprisingly, the judge agreed. He sentenced me to two years probation, two hundred hours of community service, and an essay on the importance of good citizenship.

So…when I'd told Dawn that I felt those who really wanted to change should have a second chance, I was speaking from experience. I never got so much as a traffic ticket from that day on. I went to school, earned a full academic scholarship, and got my bachelor's degree in psychiatry. A year later, I was hired here as the inmates' psychiatrist.

I must have made quite the impression, because my _first _patient was the ewe that had just been in my office: Dawn Marie Bellwether. And she was _not _an easy case.

I'd studied her file before her first appointment and let out a low whistle. She didn't provide much to go on in the way of information. What I was able to gather from publicly available sources (as well as whatever my authority would allow me to obtain) wasn't all that much either. Her school record was nearly impeccable. Honors student, valedictorian, never got into any trouble in school…even had perfect attendance. Extremely intelligent, read often, entered college at an age when many were still deciding what to do in high school…so, it was my job to find out exactly what made her go screaming off the rails to do something so drastic.

That simple question took me four and a half years to pry the answer out of her. Stubborn…didn't quite do her justice. She carried a burning hatred for all predators…and she disliked my species in particular.

Every week, it was the same silent treatment, occasionally broken by the snide retort. But if _she _was stubborn, well…she would meet her match in me. I hadn't given up on a patient in all my work in the field, and I wasn't going to start now.

Then there was that day, a month ago. The day she was late for her weekly visit. Court mandated or otherwise; for all her reticence and unwillingness to speak to me, she _was _punctual to a nearly obsessive degree. I could literally set my watch by when she walked in the door. I called the guard station…and they said they hadn't seen her. Something didn't seem right; the response far too pat, almost scripted, so…I went to take a look myself—and froze.

She was hanging from the rail of her bunk, a sheet tied around her neck. I shouted for the guard to open the door to her cell. When no one answered, I ran to the guard station—to find it unmanned. I didn't have time to inquire why…not when a life was at stake. I hit the control to open the door and made a mad dash to her cell, using a shoe to block the door from closing completely and my claws to cut the sheets that her rope was made from, and pulling her into the common area.

I lay her on the ground and checked for any sign that she was still alive. There it was…a pulse. Weak, but there. I picked her up (thanking any deity that would listen that she was petite) and carried her to the infirmary on the other side of the prison.

Not _one _guard stopped me to ask why, or bother to assist. In fact, not one even acknowledged _my _existence. They glared at me. I knew many of the guards were predators…but this was beyond a grudge. They wanted her dead. Yeah…that wasn't happening on my watch.

I pounded on the door, Dawn still unconscious and over my shoulder. My old friend from our college days was on duty that night, and we rushed her to a bed.

Fifteen minutes later, he came back to where I was sitting. I asked if he was able to save her. He said…well…there was good and bad news. He had stabilized her to stave off _immediate _danger to her life…but…with the coma she was in she might as well be dead. One, he said, that he wasn't sure she'd ever awaken from. The other doctors added that even if she _did _regain consciousness, she might have such severe brain damage that she wouldn't be the same….unable to walk, talk, or even take care of her absolutely most basic needs.

And so, that night, I sat at her bedside, my laptop with me as I composed a sternly-too mild a term by half to describe my ire-written letter to the secretary of corrections, demanding an investigation into why there were no guards in place around her cell that night. _I know you did wrong, Dawn…but you don't deserve this, _I thought as I kept vigil over her.

Why her, though? It wasn't like I didn't have dozens of other patients, after all. I was a doctor—her doctor. It was…dangerously skirting medical ethics. I…wasn't supposed to have a favorite.

But none of that could compel me to leave her side. The only reason I left her side at all was to fulfill my duty to my other patients…and I was back at her bedside as soon as my duties permitted.

I had seriously considered requesting a temporary leave of absence. I'd had little to no sleep; what rest I _did _get was from simply dozing off. But…if I said it was to watch over a patient, well…it might get disastrous. Especially if it came to light the identity of said patient.

I realized then…I didn't care what the consequences were. _I _will _see those who abandoned their oaths and duty brought to account for their transgressions. I will seek justice for you, Dawn. Because I care what happens to you._

When she finally opened her eyes after a week…I was overcome with relief. I had quite the struggle to maintain a professional detachment and keep my emotions in check.

As I sat in my bed in my apartment later that night, I wondered if I'd gone too far…if I'd crossed the line clearly set by the rules of medical ethics. Had I taken a personal involvement in her?

Maybe. I didn't care if it would be seen as such. I'd be twice damned, though, to let that happen to her and do nothing. If the price I paid was my career…then it was a fair trade for her life.

If she had any gratitude for that, though…it was hard to tell. Her approach to me hadn't changed. That is, until today. The hardest part for me now was…I didn't want her to be all alone after leaving here. My professional duty to her might end, but…it just didn't…sit well with me, the thought of her having to face the world alone. She needed a _friend. _One to light her way home, and be her refuge when the inevitable storm came. Though I might have hell to pay for it later…my mind was made up.


	3. Chapter 3: Going Home Again

**Okay, so now the two main characters have been introduced…time to get to the plot of the story :D . Dawn discovers something left behind by her mother. If you're wondering when Nick and Judy will make an appearance, all I will say is….soon. Very soon.**

**Chapter 3: Going Home Again**

_Six months later_

_After five years, I'm finally free. As far as the legal system is concerned anyway, _I thought as the correctional van dropped me off at the address I had specified in my release paperwork. _Free from the burden of my crimes is another story altogether._

To the postal service, it was Rural Route 3, Box 404. To the locals—the few that lived around here anyway; this place gave new meaning to "out in the sticks"- 404 Springview-Bunnyburrow Road. And to me, it was the home in which I spent the first 16 years of my life. I hadn't even bothered with a dorm or apartment in college before that point.

Just a simple brick house. Nothing fancy or flamboyant.

I stopped to brush the accumulation of dust that had built up on the mailbox. There, in barely visible letters, was the name Marianne Bellwether. My mother.

Just underneath that, written in a barely legible lamb's scrawl, was my own name.

_I was four years old when I wrote that, _I mused. _When I was still young, innocent, and largely fearless. When did I lose that last quality, I wonder?_

I took in the surroundings for a minute or two. Other than the grass had grown over the yard, nothing had changed since I left at sixteen.

Except for one notable, obvious, and painful difference: My mother was gone.

I regretted that the last words to her before I left were that she was always at work and never there when I needed her. I…never saw her alive again to get the chance to apologize.

Getting this place back to a livable condition would give me something to do to keep my mind focused and not dwell on my past; I'd done enough of that in prison to last me three lifetimes. It wasn't exactly falling apart, but the yard would need mowing and weeding, the walls would need painting, and I was certain there was enough dust and grime accumulated to keep me busy for the better part of a month. It didn't bother me that I would be doing it by myself. I truly needed the therapy that the manual labor would bring.

I'd gotten through about a week of working on my home when I heard a knock on the door. _Who could that be? _I thought. _The number of people that know I live here can be counted in single digits. _

Timidly, I opened the door…and was surprised to see Dr. Brushtail standing on my porch.

"Hello, Dawn," he said.

"Hello to you too. But…what brings you out here, Doc? I mean…"

"I know…you're out of prison, so my professional duty to you is properly and duly discharged, but…I thought you could use the company."

I didn't answer him immediately. I was still amazed that he was even here. Blinking a couple of times, I finally responded, "I could, yes, but wouldn't that cause you any trouble?"

"Now that you're released from prison, I wouldn't be breaking any rules. I just wanted to check in on you to see how you're faring in the outside world."

"As well as can be expected. Been keeping myself busy to keep my mind off that as much as possible. I mean, I really don't have much better to do."

"No hobbies of any sort?" he asked.

"Just reading books…though I've read every single one I have about four or five times now."

"I see."

"So…are you going to come in, or are we going to stay here on the porch all day?"

"Ah, I'm sorry. Some habits are just hard to break; the need to get the bigger picture of a person, alas, is one of them," he said before he walked through the door. "So…this is your home, eh?"

I nodded. "I was raised here. Just me and my mother for 16 years. It still looks just as it did when I left home, more or less…but we're talking about 8 years ago…"

"Oh."

"Don't mind the mess…there's just a ton of work I have to do."

"Well…I'd be glad to help. Many hands make light work, after all. Though it appears you have been quite…industrious already."

"Really?" I said, wide eyed. "I'd been kind of using spring cleaning as a means to keep my mind occupied…but sure, why not?"

Two hours later, we were both standing in the kitchen…the house pretty much spotless.

"Why didn't you mention you knew how to keep a house?" I asked. "This would have taken me about a week on my own. I mean, you know, short ewe problems…it'd just have been hard to reach without having to take several breaks…"

"Until now…there wouldn't have been a reason to ask, now would there?" he replied.

"That's true. I bet you make things super easy for your wife…"

"Sure, I do. Or would, anyway…"

"Wait wait wait….you mean you're single?" I said, surprised.

He nodded. "My work…doesn't leave much room for romance, I'm afraid. My life is…get up for work, work, try to find a bite to eat somewhere in all of that, sleep, and then get ready for the next day. When I have time for anything else….well, it's rare."

"And yet…you're here, spending what's likely your day off with a disgraced sheep who just got out of prison, helping her clean her house, when you could be out somewhere enjoying yourself."

"Well…if I _had _anyone to hang out with, sure…but since I don't, I thought I'd make the day mean something by helping someone else."

"I guess. Not that I know much about being sociable myself."

"Anyway…what's left on the to-do list?"

I glanced around. We'd tackled the entire house (including the computer room, which led to an interesting discussion concerning Final Furtasy XIV—finding out that we both played from time to time, though I'd been inactive for some time –obviously. When I logged on for the first time since my release, I discovered, unsurprisingly, I'd have to rebuild my friend list. Well…that gave me _one_).

Just one room remained.

"Enter at your own risk…." Dr. Brushtail murmured, reading the note on the door. "Something dangerous in here?"

"Yeah—me. At least when I still lived at home. I put that on the door when I was twelve."

"So this is…"

I sighed. "Yeah. This is…was _my _room," I said, slowly opening the door.

The bed was still made…I was pretty particular about that. Band posters covered most of the walls—I put those up with pins rather than tape so they'd actually stay up. I mean….sure, I was a nerd but, I was still just like your average young adolescent ewe in so many ways back then. Boy bands and all.

"New Kits On The Block?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I…had the same tastes in music as anyone else my age, you know. Being bookish didn't mean I was completely out of touch with the world. I _wanted _to be normal….to just be one of the girls…"

"Nothing wrong with that." He replied, then his gaze went over to a corner of the room. "Well, well…what do we have there?"

Standing in the corner was my old acoustic guitar. Something…I dabbled in when I was a teenager. If books were my true love, hobby wise, then music could be described as my crush. I walked to the corner and gently picked it up. Plucking the strings, I was surprised to find that it was still properly tuned…something I had done years ago without the aid of a device.

"Were you…any good with that?" the doctor asked.

I sighed. "Years ago, I'd imagine that I was on stage somewhere, in front of a huge crowd. Me and…" I said, pausing at the end, a tear in my eye. _My best friend…my _only _friend, _I thought. I carefully sat the instrument back in its corner and slowly sat down on my bed.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Doc…"

"Oh…I forgot. You can call me David. Calling me 'Doctor' all the time, well…I'm not exactly visiting you on a professional level, am I now?"

I nodded, then took a breath before continuing. "Do you think…she'll ever forgive me for what I did? For trying to harm her?"

"Unfortunately, that's entirely up to her. She may, she may not. And whether she does or not, you'll have to accept that she may not want to be friends with you anymore, or that your friendship will be drastically altered from what it once was. All you can do is ask."

I nodded, sniffling. "I used to walk down the road to her house all the time…"

"Oh yes…this house is only a half mile or so from Bunnyburrow, isn't it?"

"Three thousand, two hundred and sixty-four steps. I…counted them all," I answered. "Sometimes I walked to her house, and sometimes she did to mine. And sometimes…we walked together. I lost count of how many times we'd get caught in the spring rains…and find a tree to hide under, for all the good it did. She wound up going to the same school as me because, well…there was a bit of an overflow problem at the one she was going to…"

"To say the least, I'd think. When you're cranking out babies at better than a thousand a month, though, it's bound to happen."

"That's when she told me she wanted to be a cop. We were walking home after career day, and she just told me. I asked her why, and she said she wanted to make a difference in the world. To show that anyone can be whatever they wanted to be. Me…well, I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to do when I graduated. That was…when I was fourteen. Not long after, I entered college under the dual admissions program."

"And you decided to go into politics…"

"After my mother died, yeah. I'd already gotten at least my associate's degree in political science by then. I envied Judy and her ability to do what I couldn't…I had neither the physical endurance nor the stature to go into her field…so, I decided I'd try to change the system from within…"

"To be fair, she was pretty small too…"

"Yes, I know. So…I went to work as an intern first for Lionheart…and clawed my way up the ladder slowly. By then, though…anger was starting to set in. Looking back now…maybe going into that field was a bad choice, because I had far too much time to nurse grudges. I was still bitter over the death of my mother, how it was handled…all of it. The wheels had already been set in motion. And they didn't stop until I found myself staring through iron bars."

"I see…"

I sighed, stood up again, and made my way over to the closet door. I opened it slowly…and saw the clothes I didn't have the room to pack with me when I left home. I found myself greeted by a row of plaid skirts, sweaters, blouses…the works. Funny thing…most of them would _still _fit me today. They would have fit _before _my belly flop off the deep end, even. I was perpetually short and…I never gained much weight, either.

"Dawn…have you ever considered a new look for yourself? I mean…I've never seen so much plaid…"

I shrugged. "What can I say, I'm partial to it. And if I chose a new look, it'd probably just wind up being a different colored variant." I glanced up…and a box caught my eye. "I don't remember putting _this _in here though." Then I turned to David. "Um…short ewe here. Can you get it for me?"

I swear I _hated _being so short. I seriously considered investing in platform shoes…until I realized I'd just fall on my face a lot. Mom said it was because I was premature.

David retrieved the box for me and we both sat down on the bed. "You going to open it?"

I dusted off the top of the box (why in the heavens must this house collect so much dust?) and paused. I recognized the handwriting on the envelope attached. "This is my mother's…"

I opened the envelope and unfolded the piece of paper held within. "The date on this…it's a week after I left home…"

_What were you trying to say with this? _I thought. Whatever was contained in this letter was probably everything she had meant to say that fateful night eight years ago. Things I never got to hear.

_Dawn, my child…I want to start by apologizing to you. You were right—I should have done a better job of being there when you needed me. You were—and still are—going through the most trying years of your life. A time when you struggle to fit in, to find your identity, your place. And those years can also be cruel. _

_I sense your rising anger towards those that torment you. The predators. Because of that, there is something you should know. Something I should have told you years ago._

_Temper your anger towards them…for one helped me raise you, at least for the first year and a half of your life. _

_Your father, as you know, deserted us before you were born. But there is more to this tale. I…was despondent after he left. So much that I seriously considered taking my life…I had actually gone to the bridge up the road and was staring down at the river far below. A truck driver happened to pass by in the nick of time. He asked me why would I consider doing such a thing…then he noticed my swollen belly and shook his head. _

'_Whatever the reason, think about that one…' he admonished. 'They don't get a say in the matter.'_

_He was a wolf. Our ancient enemies since time immemorial. Or so we've been taught. But he…heavens above, he was different. _Very _different. _

_I thanked him for his concern and wisdom, and started back home. He drove away and I figured that was the last I would see of him. Imagine my surprise, then, when a few days later I heard a knock on the door and saw him standing there with a box in his paws. _

_He had brought with him food and things I would need for a young lamb. I asked him wouldn't those be better for his own family? _

_He had none, he replied. His young mate had died in childbirth, and their pup didn't make it. When he saw me on that bridge…he thought of what she would have had him do. He said that we really weren't so different. _

_I admit, I was skittish at first. Overcoming millennia of old fears doesn't come easily, after all. But…he was as gentle as….well, a lamb. _

_And a miracle happened: We fell in love. I couldn't say why, or how. We just did. We were married before you were born, Dawn. And…it was he that named you. I would have picked Lilly, but he said, "A new day is breaking in our lives…I think our daughter should be named accordingly…as a representation of our hopes…"_

_Just that statement brought tears to my eyes—as if I hadn't cried enough the whole momentous day when you made your entrance into the world. He didn't think of you as just mine. You were his, regardless of your blood. _

_And so you were named: Dawn Lilly Marie Bellwether. _

_Why, you might ask, did I not take his name? Our world—especially out in the backwoods away from the city—wasn't very….tolerant of our union. We loved each other dearly, but…we also understood the need to protect our child from the slings of the world until the day came where the world would accept us fully. _

_I longed to give him a child of his own (which by no means diminished our love for you) but…nature can be cruel in that regard. Unfortunately, though…he never got to see the day where science would make that even a remote possibility. He lost his life in an accident when you were a year and a half old. _

_I…I know I haven't always been there when you needed someone to stand up for you. I wish I could take back the anger I felt at you. _

_You were always loved. And still are, until my dying breath, and even beyond. But the one lesson I learned from him, I teach now to you: Love will always win. It doesn't matter the battle, the odds…none of that. If you truly believe in your heart. _

I sat on the bed, trembling. I was…well, floored would be too mild a term by an order of magnitude.

_Why…didn't you tell me? Why keep it a secret from your own daughter? If I had known…my life may not have taken the path it has…_

"Dawn?" David inquired. "Are you all right?"

I felt the tear running down my cheek as I replied to him. "All my life, I've feared predators…and I find that I owe my entire existence to the act of one…an act of selflessness. And my mother kept that a secret from me my whole life. He was, in every regard but biologically, my father…"

"Is that so?"

I just nodded. I had no words, and a storm of emotions blazed through my mind in an instant. I wasn't even aware I was crying my eyes out until I felt an arm around my shoulders.

Any other point in my life, I would have scampered away from him or his kind. But…today, at that moment, I was profusely thankful for his gesture.

Because—at least for that moment in time—I _needed _him.


	4. Chapter 4: The Revival of a Bond

**Author's Notes: Well, here's the entrance of the first couple of Zootopia, everyone's favorite fox and bunny duo…Nick and Judy. In this chapter, Judy wants to mend a bridge and Nick has his misgivings. **

**Chapter 4: The Revival of a Bond**

"So, Carrots, you check the news lately?" my partner, Nick Wilde, asked me.

I looked at him with a sigh. For as much as I'd grown fond of his nickname for me, sometimes I wished he remembered I actually _had _a real name. Then again, I remembered, he only addressed me by my real name when he was dead serious about something.

"Yeah. Dawn was finally released from prison last week. She's served her time."

"And _that _doesn't bother you?"

"Nick, she's done her time already. It's not my job to judge whether she's fit to return to society. Her psychiatrist and the warden both certified that she is."

"You _do _remember she tried to kill you, right?"

"Yes, Nick, I _do _remember that. Having to testify against my best friend since I was in kindergarten was the hardest thing I had to do. Even then, I still petitioned the court for leniency."

"I still don't understand why you did that. She did some pretty awful stuff."

"And _you _weren't always the shining example of law and order yourself, Nick." His unrelenting consternation…was actually starting to get on my nerves. He wasn't _usually _quite so harsh. Then again, considering that she _had _tried to kill me I couldn't say I didn't understand his feelings on the matter.

"Yeah….the worst thing I did was what…hustle people? Pretty tame stuff compared to what she did."

"No one _died _from it, though. It was the wrong way to go about dealing with her fears, but…"

"If not for us outsmarting her, though, someone would have. You," he said. "We both know she got out of _that _charge by reason of insanity…"

I sighed deeply.

"Okay, Carrots…something _is _bothering you about this. What's the deal?"

I stared down at my desk. "I should have seen the signs, Nick. I should have spoken up about the way Lionheart treated her. I should have been there for her, but…I got too caught up in my career."

"But she was responsible for her actions, Carrots. She knew what she was doing."

"Nick…the Dawn Bellwether I saw that day in the museum was _not _the same one I sat across from in court. She was…devastated. As though the price of her actions had finally set in and she was terrified of what she had wrought. If she _were _the same…we wouldn't be having this conversation, nor would I have asked the court to consider a lighter sentence."

"You think she _didn't _mean to do what she did?"

"Nick, I've known her since _preschool. _Like, three years old. No, I don't think she meant it to go that far. I think…she just snapped under the strain."

"Yeah, but…"

"I need to talk to her…," I said, with finality. _I've got to settle this once and for all._

"Judy…" Nick said, and I paused, "I…don't think that's a good idea."

"Nick…"

"What if she snaps again? What if…"

"And what if she _doesn't, _Nick? Like I said, what we saw in the museum isn't the same person. I…have to know something. I…also owe her an apology."

He shook his head. "Always having to see the best in people. Then again…you were that way with me too. One of the things I actually love about you."

"She was…_is _my friend. No matter what she did, we made a promise to each other to be there, no matter what…"

"Well, she blew that promise rather spectacularly, Carrots…"

"I did too."

"All right…" he said, with a heavy sigh. "We'll go talk to her…"

"I'd…like to do this alone, Nick."

"Judy….I'll compromise and drop my objections to you going to see her, as much as I feel that doing so is against my better judgement. But I am _not _letting you walk into the lion's den by yourself. That's _my_ condition. Deal? Until she _shows _me she's turned over a new leaf, I don't trust her."

"Fair enough…" I conceded.

He took my paws gently. "You know how much I care for you, Carrots. I almost lost you because of her once. I _won't _allow it again."

"And if she shows you that she really has changed, can I tell you I told you so?"

"With my blessing. But that's quite the challenge. I'm hard to convince. It's just my nature. Anyway…where would she be? It'd be violating regulations to use confidential information for a personal purpose…"

"Nick….do I have to remind you again that I grew up with her? There's only one place she _would_ go…and I know where it is as surely as I know my own name. Heavens know I spent as much time there as I did at my own home…"

It was a fairly quiet, if also long drive (it'd been a while since I'd even been to my hometown, let alone the next district over…so it wound up being about a three hour drive), but we finally pulled up at her house.

"She really does live out in the middle of nowhere, doesn't she?"

"Well…if you did something the scale of what she did…then you'd want to be as far from everyone as possible, too." I said. "I used to walk here quite often."

"Oh yeah….this place isn't far from your home, isn't it?"

I pointed down the road. "It's about a half mile to Bunnyburrow from here. My home was about that same distance farther."

He nodded. "Well, looks like the lights are on, shall we get on with this?"

I nodded and knocked on the door. And waited.

"Do you think she'll—" he started to say when the door opened…to reveal the mastermind of the biggest crime the city had seen in years.

And, to be perfectly honest? She didn't look the part at all.

Recognition set in and her eyes went wide. We'd done her the favor of changing out of our uniforms before we came by. Didn't want her to think we were hauling her in for anything.

"Judy? This is….unexpected…"

"Dawn…I came by because…we need to talk. Nothing official, just…some things I need to get off my chest." I said, cutting directly to the chase.

She nodded, then saw Nick standing beside me. They stared at each other for a long while…but to her credit—and my surprise—she didn't flinch or back down.

"He insisted on coming with me…" I said.

"I…understand why. I, too, have things that I need to say. Will you two come inside? I promise, it's perfectly safe…."

Nick glared at her. "It better be. Or there isn't a place far enough you can hide from my retribution…" he said, absolutely serious.

She paused, nodding. "I wouldn't expect any less…you _do _care for her, I know."

We walked in and took a seat on the couch. _Doesn't look like the place has changed at all. I can still remember many a day spent here…her mother just shaking her head at the two of us. I never did admit it, but…I felt like I was just as much her daughter as Dawn was. A tragedy, what happened to her. _

"Dawn, I…." I started to say, after about ten minutes of awkward silence, but she raised a hoof to stop me.

"No…me first. I've…needed to say this for a long time now. I'm…genuinely sorry for my actions. All of them. But most of all…for putting you in danger like I did. I…couldn't see right and wrong anymore. Not that day, anyway."

"Dawn…we made a promise. Remember?"

She nodded. "Right here, in this very room. I remember, it was storming like crazy, and you were scared to death. It feels like another lifetime ago, Judy. We both…changed. We took very different roads."

I nodded. "Yes we did.. But…I should have come back to you. We promised to be there for one another, no matter what happened."

"We were kids, Judy. We had no idea what life would bring."

"But…that was no reason to…"

"What I did to you was…far worse. So….that promise…"

"It still means _everything _to me!" I said, so overcome with emotion I didn't realize that I'd raised my voice. I'd never forgotten it. For what it mattered, I was here _because _of that promise. My eyes burned with the tears I tried to hold back. She stared at me, wide eyed.

I continued, words pouring from my heart, the things I couldn't say to her in court. "Even after what you did, it hurt—heavens above, it ripped my heart out, and to testify in court to what you did, with you sitting across from me was the hardest thing I've _ever _had to do—but…I made that promise to you, and I took an oath to serve and protect. The one person I failed to protect was _you. _I…can't forgive myself for that. Yes, _you _were accountable for your actions. But if I'd done what I promised to do, then…I was too busy chasing my dream to realize how far I'd left you behind…until it was too late."

"But you _had _a dream to chase," she said quietly. "I'd…given up on mine. I…in the end, I couldn't change a thing. All I did was make it worse."

"And I wouldn't have had that dream to chase if not for you…" I whispered. "You…were the one I looked up to. When we were both young and fearless. You were older and bigger than me…."

"I wasn't _totally _fearless. I was scared of heights, and still am. Except…when you were with me."

"Because I promised to catch you if you fell…" I added. "And the one time I _needed _to keep that promise, I didn't."

"You weren't responsible for what I did, Judy. You weren't the cause of it."

"No, but I could have asked you what was wrong. I could have stood up for you when you were being mistreated. Even if I didn't directly cause it, Dawn…I didn't do anything to try and stop it either. So…"

"I don't blame you…"

"Dawn…I heard what happened while you were in prison. When you nearly _died _and hardly a soul gave a damn, save for your psychiatrist. I should have at least come to visit you. And heaven help _any _of those guards should I cross paths with them in this lifetime…"

"Judy…"

"Dawn, I don't _ever _want to forget that promise again. No matter what the cost. You're…still my best friend…"

She stopped, staring at me incredulously. "I still am? After all I did to you?"

I nodded, tears on my cheeks. "Until the end." I grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. "I forgive you…for everything. Would you forgive me…for abandoning you in your time of need?"

She nodded. "There was never a question of that…of course I do," she whispered.

Nick looked at the two of us and just sighed.

"I understand your caution towards me, Nick. I…endangered the one you love…" she said walking over to him…and meeting his piercing gaze. If looks could kill…but she didn't flinch from him.

That got his attention. "You knew that much?"

"It was…obvious. The way you two looked at each other then…and still do now. I know you don't trust me, but…I swear to you, on my mother's grave, I will never place her in harm's way again. I'll die before that happens."

Nick stared her for a long moment, as though mulling over her words. I saw her and…well, I knew when she meant every word of what she said.

"She's dead serious, Nick. I _know _that look."

"She sounded pretty serious back then, too…" He said

"Look, I know and understand your skepticism. I really do. I've…given you every reason to doubt me. But this time I mean it."

He sighed deeply. "Dawn Bellwether, I swear to every deity there ever was, if you _ever _again willfully harm _one _hair on her body…then my wrath will burn with a fury that will make yours that day look like a birthday candle by comparison, and prison will seem as a vacation. There will be no place on the planet far enough from my retribution. Understood?" Nick said.

"I promise. I'd…take a bullet for her. She knows that."

"Yeah, well…you'll have to convince _me _you mean that. I'm not saying that it'll come to actually taking a bullet, but…I love her. And I'll fight anyone on the planet who would do her harm. Even you."

She nodded. "I wish…I had someone who loved me that much, Nick. But I gave up on that even before my trip off the rails." Then she blinked, glancing at the clock. "Oh dear…David said he'd be over after he got off work…"

Nick raised an eyebrow. "David…Brushtail?"

"Yes. He was my psychiatrist in prison. You…know him?"

He just chuckled. "Well, then, there's hope for you…if _anyone _on the planet can straighten you out, it's him. We're cousins. Distant enough that it wouldn't be weird…but yeah."

Dawn shrugged. "Well, _that _explains a lot. But…he's also been here to help me out. I'd still be cleaning the house if not for his help."

He nodded. "Hey…Carrots, we need to get back to the precinct."

I nodded, then handed Dawn a slip of paper. "My number. If you need me, _call _me, whatever the reason is. I don't care if it's three in the morning, I'll pick up. I promise."

We both walked back to the car and started the drive home.

"Carrots…it's not like my cousin to pay a…personal visit to his patients. I think he's courting her." Nick said after a while. "I mean…since she's out of prison, she's fair game to him. And I had to kind of catch myself to not say it out loud…but our relationship is distant enough that it wouldn't be _totally _weird if they actually _were _dating after we…well, you know. I mean, we _did _plan on that part, right?"

"Seriously?" I asked. "That would be a first…Dawn hasn't had a boyfriend…like, ever. She grew up the textbook nerd. Dating wasn't her style. And yes, I _haven't _forgotten you proposed to me, nor has my answer changed. I still want to."

"Yes, I'm serious," he sighed. "If _anyone _would be good for her, it's him. He won't give up on her."

"It wasn't like I did either, Nick."

"I didn't mean that you _did. _What I meant was…he's stubborn. He won't let her give up on herself. He'll do everything he can to make sure she stays committed to the path she's taken." He smirked in his lovable roguish fashion. "He comes by that naturally…"

"What about what _she _thinks? Her feelings towards your kind?"

"She didn't react to me like she had before. She actually stood face to face with me and talked to me like a person. Like it…mattered to her what I thought. I mean _really _mattered. Whatever happened to her in prison, it…definitely changed her. You're right, Carrots…she's not the same insane ball of fluff as she was when she went in. And I think he has more than a little to do with it," he answered. "That's why I'm willing to give her another chance. But…if she hurts you again…"

"It won't happen, Nick. I trust her."


	5. Chapter 5: Revelation Of The Heart

It wasn't long after they left that it started to rain. I stared out my bedroom window with a sigh. Rain…usually put me in a melancholy mood. It was raining when I found my mother's body in that alley. It was raining the entire first week I spent in prison.

But…I also remembered the times Judy and I got caught in a sudden spring rain. We'd huddle under a tree, or in an abandoned burrow (when there was lightning involved). We were usually soaked through to the skin. She'd wriggle up next to me because my wool was a wee bit more water repellent than her short fur (thank heavens for lanolin). And…we'd wait for the storm to pass.

I sighed again. _But the most fearsome storm we faced…was one of my own creation. Until today, I feared that it had ripped us apart forever. Instead, we now have a renewed commitment to our bond. _

_Never again will I go so far out of my mind to forget that promise. _

My eyes went to the corner again. _We used to dream together about one day making it big. I wonder…where that dream went? _

My mind went to many sessions with her in this very room. Both of us, singing _completely _off key. Neither of us could carry a tune in a bucket…but we didn't care. Mom…was our biggest fan.

I sighed and turned on the radio. I…just needed a _lot _of time to think.

I was still lost in my thoughts when I heard a soft knock on the door. _He's…here already? Not that I'm unhappy over that, but…I would have thought he was still at work. _"I'm coming…." I said, loudly enough that he could hear me outside.

I opened the door and let him in, both of us sitting down on the couch. "You're early today…"

"It was a quiet day at work, so I thought I'd come by to see you. Nick…called me," he said. "He told me everything that happened with you and Judy. She's…definitely loyal to a fault."

"She…blames herself partly for what happened to me." I said. "She says she should have seen the red flags and acted sooner."

"Well, it's somewhat understandable. You and her had been best friends since you were kids, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, at least you have her as a friend again, Dawn." He said, then his ears suddenly perked up.

"What is it, David?"

"That song…"

"What of it?" I inquired.

"Dawn, it was….the day you were…" he whispered, closing his eyes.

_Eight months ago…_

I sat there in my chair, Dawn still laying unconscious on the bed beside me, the only sound in the room being her breathing and the steady beep of the machines monitoring her vital signs.

Heavens above…that was too close. Another minute or two, I was told, and she'd have died. As I looked over at her, I wondered…was there a difference? Right now, hooked up to machines, it seemed like she already had. Watching her lay there…she didn't look anything like a criminal mastermind.

In fact…she looked like a slumbering angel…

_Get a grip, David. You _know_ better than to even think it._

I was still angry over how the guards had treated her. Like she didn't deserve to live. In my letter, I demanded that those who were on duty that night be called to account for abandoning their duties. If _she _had to account for her wrongdoing, then…they should as well. They were not above the law.

_Come on Dawn. You'll get through this. You're a fighter._

I felt…conflicted. On one hand, I _had _to maintain professional and clinical detachment from my patients. That was the rule. Never let it get personal. I was supposed to be her caretaker…not her friend.

On the other hand…I could see the loneliness in her eyes. That was part of what drove her off the deep end in the first place. And…it bothered me. Like her, I had no one else. _There, but for the grace of the gods, go I._

She had no one. Not even family—I was, to all intents and purposes, her legal caretaker. She'd never had a visitor while she was here.

I suddenly heard a song playing in the infirmary office—they liked to listen to the radio during the overnight hours. I…knew it well.

I turned my eyes towards the ceiling. _What are you trying to tell me? _Then my eyes turned back to Dawn. _Maybe you can hear me. Maybe not. But…_

I closed my eyes_. My career be damned, I...can't lose you, _I thought.

Ever since I brought her here, into this room, my mind and my heart were at war with each other.

_You're her caretaker. Her psychiatrist. You _have _to remain detached. You can't get involved.._

_**But she's…alone. She deserves so much better. Even if she did wrong…she can turn around, can't she? It's not too late. **_

_You have a professional duty to her, David. You can't allow your heart to become entangled…_

_**It's too late for that, I'm afraid. It already has.**_

My eyes opened at that realization. Had I…crossed that line? Did I…care for her emotionally?

No…that would be an understatement, I knew. I could feel the heat of my tears that I desperately tried to hold back.

But I knew as soon as my thoughts conceded that fact only a minute before, that my heart had already reached the point of no return.

I loved her. More than I ever had another. I looked down…and I held her hoof in both of my paws.

"I'll stand beside you, Dawn…until my last breath," I whispered, laying my head on her unconscious form. I couldn't hold back anymore. "You will always have a refuge in me…I…love you…."

The hardest part of all this? I couldn't tell her. Not while she was here.

But, once she served her time…even if it cost me everything, I would keep my promise to her that I made this day.

"David?" I asked. "You're…"

"I was….just remembering something." "I know…" I said….and my cheeks were red. "You're…um…."

We both glanced down…and his paw was on my hoof.

"Well, I…"

"David…" I said, quietly, "tell me something…."

"Anything…"

I swallowed nervously. Because…once I asked this question, there was no turning back. But I _needed _to know.

"What do you….really feel about me?"

"Well, I…didn't want you to be alone…"

I stared into his eyes. "David…my _minor _is in psychology. I _know _the necessity of maintaining clinical detachment from your patient. And you crossed that line…about ten miles ago."

"I…did?"

I nodded.

"I…didn't mean to…but…"

"You were the _only _person to stand up for me in there." I said, softly. "You…came to me in my darkest hour. When I had not another soul. You saved me…in more than just my life."

"I couldn't bear to see you mistreated, Dawn…"

"But after that…I changed. My eyes opened. Why do you _think _I finally opened up to you that day? Because I started to trust you. And that doesn't come easily at all. I know I was harsh then, but…deep down, I didn't want to be. I hadn't thought of what I would say, so…it wound up coming out all wrong."

"Yes, well, that was…"

I inched closer to him. "You're the reason I'm _not _scared anymore. That I can be this close to you…to your kind…and not tremble like a leaf in the wind or want to run for the hills…"

"I…I mean…"

_That's it…let's see if _this _gets you to tell me the truth. What I already see in your eyes, in the way you look at me. What I've honestly known for a long time now. Even if…you couldn't tell me then._

And that was when I leaned forward and kissed him. It probably wasn't the best in the history of romance. I mean…it _was _the first time I'd kissed someone of the opposite gender.

He stared at me with wide eyes...heavens above they were so blue… "Dawn Lilly Marie Bellwether…" he whispered.

"Only my mother called—"

That was as far as I got before he pulled me into a far better—and longer—kiss than I could manage. I don't know how much time went by. It just…stopped for that moment. For several heartbeats. I lost count. I didn't care. It was just me and him on that couch…and nothing else mattered.

And for the first time in…the entirety of my life, except perhaps for that moment that comes to _all _living creatures at a certain point in their lives…urges started to make themselves known. _Not yet, Dawn. It's not time. Just…let the moment be._

When we finally broke the kiss, I was all but laying atop him, my eyes still staring into his.

"Does _that _answer your question?" he asked tenderly. "I love you…and I will _never _leave you alone in this world, for as long as I draw breath."

"And I love you…my angel in the night, light in the darkness, the holder of my heart…I always did, since just after that time in your office and I actually opened up…that had never come easily to me. I was…overjoyed when you came by that first day after I got out…because I knew you had kept your promise…"

"You…heard me that day? But you…."

"My _heart _remembers, somehow. I can't logically explain it, I mean, I _was _unconscious. But it does."

"Then why didn't you _tell _me before?"

"Because _love _doesn't come easily to me either. I never dated growing up. I was a total nerd. I didn't attract the attention of males—largely because I was afraid of them. At first, I wasn't sure if it was just being…impressed with you, or something else. But my mind kept going back to that day…and then the time you told me what happened while I was unconscious…no one had _ever _done anything like that for me. During that whole five years, I'd never meant that much to _anyone_…yet you were willing to risk everything for what you did. I…couldn't stop thinking about you—and believe me, I _tried. _That doesn't happen to me…ever."

He wrapped his arms around me, and I giggled. "Well, then…would you do me the honor of joining me tomorrow night for a date?"

I met his gaze for a minute, then kissed him gently. "Yes. Yes, I would…but…can we just stay like this tonight? I…don't want you to leave so soon…"

"Are you….certain?" he said, a _little _nervously. "I mean…"

"You've _never _had a girlfriend before?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Too caught up in my work…."

I stroked the top of his head. "I promise, I'll behave myself. As much as a huge part of me _doesn't _want to…I'll be a good little ewe. Besides…we have plenty of time for that later…tonight, I just want the moment to be…"

Then I kissed him again. And for the rest of the night, we just lay there and snuggled. I don't think I slept so soundly—or feeling so safe—in a long, _long_, time.


	6. Chapter 6: An Unexpected Request

**In this chapter, Dawn muses her own lack of a romantic life to this point, and then her life in general, when suddenly she receives an invitation she wasn't anticipating.**

**The song lyric in this chapter is from "If I Didn't Have You" by Thompson Square. If you haven't heard it, or seen the video, I highly recommend it. Both the song and the video accurately fit the flashback of the last chapter. **

**As always, read and keep the reviews coming! **

**Chapter 6: An Unexpected Request**

"Mmmm…five more minutes…." I murmured sleepily.

"Dawn, my love….as much as I would dearly _love _to spend five years and more holding you like this…duty calls, I'm afraid. I'll hurry home, I promise."

I nodded—even though I also pouted playfully. A month had passed since we confessed how we felt for one another.

I actually found that I enjoyed the thought of someone coming home to me. Yes, he'd kind of…moved in here not long after that day. And I, well…okay, I admit it, I _asked _him to. Turns out, he'd been living with an old college buddy.

And, looking around the house, well…I figured I'd make a pretty decent wife.

_Whoa…_

Was I already thinking that far ahead? _Easy there, little lamb. You haven't even…erm, you know…done….that yet. _

And it was true. We'd shared the bed, of course—I wouldn't hear of him sleeping on the couch or the floor in _my _home.

I sighed at the thought. _Our home. I asked him here as an equal partner. As far as I'm concerned, he's the one. So…what's holding me back? _

I felt…awkward. I'd never even been kissed before by a male before that day, much less did anything more…intimate.

And I had to confess…I was largely ignorant of my own…feminine anatomy. I'd never…engaged in those sorts of things. I figured, why would I, if no males interested me?

I was a ewe with a brain, and I wasn't afraid to use it. So much, as I'm sure I've previously alluded to, that it screamed _nerd. _If someone wanted to get my attention , they'd have to show me that they weren't ruled by their…male parts. That they had some actual intelligence.

Sadly, at Zootopia University, there weren't many of those. Even in the dual enrollment program. I suppose that going to college at fourteen (and getting my degree at fifteen) didn't help my dating life. I was starting out into the real world at an age where my peers were still trying to figure out what they wanted to _do _with their lives.

I guess that contributed towards my slide into temporary insanity. I wasn't ready for the real world at that age. I wasn't ready for how brutal it could be. I needed someone, but the one I needed most was busy trying to keep food on the table.

Had I only been a couple of years older, perhaps I would have had the maturity to understand the situation. Maybe then I wouldn't have stormed out of the house, having packed what I could carry on a bicycle and leaving home, vowing to make it on my own.

I never saw my mother alive again.

I had no one else…so I drew deeper into myself. I already had terrible antisocial issues as it was. So I had no one to tell me that maybe, just maybe, I needed to step back and take a long look down the road I was headed. My best friend…she was out chasing her dream. And it wasn't that I really blamed her, but…I _needed _her support too.

Everyone I needed…they weren't there. There wasn't a soul to stop me from flying off the cliff that I created…or the inevitable crash I made into the ground below.

Not until that night in prison, almost eight months ago. The night David found me dangling from a makeshift rope, mere minutes, even seconds, from the abyss of death.

Absently I rubbed my neck. There, buried under thick wool. The scar I still bore from that night I tried to take my own life. _He _knew it was there.

He didn't have to, I knew. It was only his intuition that alerted him to something amiss. And, until that night, he was just my psychiatrist. I couldn't stand him, partly because he was a fox that reminded me far too much of Nick (and my bitterness at the time as his being the fox that had put me there) and partly because…he was one of _them_.

But when no one else even gave a damn about me, he was there. He stayed at my side. Even though he'd told me himself, well…it wasn't until I called in a favor with someone I knew in the prison system to show me the infirmary camera recordings from that day (and honestly I didn't have too many people left that I could even call in such a favor anymore) that I confirmed his statements to me that day in his office.

Everything he said was true. He really hadn't left my side except to perform his duties. Even the conversations with some of the doctors telling him he was risking too much.

He didn't care, he said. Professional detachment be damned. Even if I _didn't _make it, he'd be damned if I died alone.

And then there was the night of his confession. The one he didn't think I knew about. But I did. That was why I…politely confronted him about his feelings for me.

You see, I knew the song that'd come on the instant my ears registered it, because it was clear as day on the audio pickup for the recording.

As I watched the video for the…I lost count of just how many times I watched it…I closed my eyes, listening, knowing now by heart just where it started.

And the words were as appropriate as they were true.

[_This life would kill me if I didn't have you…_]

Would? It nearly did. David saved my life. And, though I'm not really big on matters of faith, he saved my soul as well.

_When, _I thought, _did he go from someone I couldn't stand to someone I absolutely couldn't live without? _ Yeah, I knew the answer to that.

I was still musing when my phone rang. A quick glance at the display told me who it was and I answered on the second ring. "Hi there, Judy."

"Hey, Dawn. I was wondering if you'd like to come with me for just a girls' night? I mean, it _has _been a while since we spent time with each other."

I pondered my reply for a moment. David…would probably tell me it was a good thing to spend time with my friends as well as him.

"Sure," I responded. "Where do you want to go?"

"It's karaoke night at one of the clubs. I figured we could do what we used to do when we were kids, what we dreamed of…"

"Hmm….okay. Just give me a bit to freshen up and change my clothes."

I heard her chuckle. "You must have like a hundred plaid outfits, Dawn. If I ever saw you in something else I'd think the world was coming to an end."

"What can I say? It suits me."

"I'll be by soon to pick you up. Nick already called David, they're gonna go out and have a couple drinks and catch up on each other's lives."

"All right, see you in a bit." I said and ended the call. _Well, here goes my first time out in the world since the…incident. _Of course, that made me a little anxious. _Hope everyone can be at least civil._


	7. Chapter 7: David's Musings

**A month has passed since David and Dawn confessed their feelings for one another, and now it's David's turn to reflect on that time. R&R.**

I gazed out the window of my office, lost in thought. Confessing how I felt for her a month ago was easy; she read me like an open book. From there…well, it'd gone a bit quickly.

When she heard about my living situation at that time, her exact words were, "No one I know and care for is going without a proper place to lay their head at night. Plenty enough room to stay here." Then she added with a wink, "There's room on the bed if you want it."

I'd accepted, of course. Living with her, I realized there was a whole side to Dawn that even _I _didn't know.

Most of the rest of the world knew her as a dastardly criminal mastermind. But what I saw in her was…someone as normal as you or I. Sure, she had her quirks. For one, she was intensely fastidious. You could literally eat off the floor in her home. I slept in when I had the time to, and every time I woke up, there she was, cleaning and dusting. I'd even gotten her a small ladder so she could reach higher spots better.

And she was also someone who had aspirations. We'd sit up several nights while she just picked away at the guitar she had in the corner. I…never would have pegged her to be a musician; books were her domain, I knew. And, well….her singing voice surprised me as well. She was actually quite talented.

At night, though…well, we could have, um, tested the bed as often as we wanted to. It wasn't that I didn't want her in that manner—I did—but…we both wanted not to rush into things headlong. So, I was content to just hold her close to me at night, and many times my paw came to rest against her chest…and I'd feel her heart beat.

It almost floored me when I first felt it. I knew how close it had come to that heart being stilled forever. And I was grateful to the heavens that it hadn't…and now it was mine. And mine was hers.

It might have sounded totally crazy, but…there were a lot of nights I'd just lay there and watch her sleep. The gentle rise and fall of her breathing. I mean, yes, I _had _watched her sleep before. But that was when she was fighting for her life. This was…different. A peaceful moment that only lovers could know.

"Dr. Brushtail?" a voice interrupted.

I turned to find my assistant standing in the door. "Noelle, I've told you that you can call me David. We've known each other since we were in high school."

"I tend to forget that," she answered with a shrug. We _had _known each other for years, but she thought of me as more like a brother to her. "Anyway, I've gathered up the cases you'll need for tomorrow."

I nodded. "Thanks."

She walked over next to me. "You really _do _make a cute couple…"

I blinked, turning to her, surprised. "You know, don't you?"

"David, I _knew _the moment she got out of the infirmary. She might have still been cold with you for a bit, but…the way you looked at her. You're not all that good at hiding your emotions."

"Yeah. Not a great trait for a psychiatrist to have, no?"

"I don't know. But…I can tell you two are the best thing to have happened to each other. You set her on the right path in life…and she gave you something to live for besides work. I've never seen you so excited for the end of the day, just so you can go home to her."

"She's…definitely something. You know…she dreamed of being a big star on the music stage with her best friend. That's something the news outlets won't tell you."

"I presume there's a lot about someone that the rest of the world doesn't know."

"Yeah. Anyway, my cousin has invited me for a bit of social time tonight. It's been a while since we've talked to each other, and she wants to catch up. Partly because my girlfriend is his wife's best friend…"

"I heard how they patched their friendship up…as though no time went by at all…"

"Well, she _did _blame herself in part for what happened to Dawn," I replied. "But I also know it means the world to her to still have a friend like her. They're also having a night out to themselves, to just enjoy themselves and reconnect. I just hope that Dawn is ready to have to face the world at large again."


	8. Chapter 8:Keeping Her Word

**Judy and Dawn enjoy a girl's night. They start discussing the future when a pivotal moment occurs and Dawn has a second to respond. R&R.**

**Also, about word counts: I know they're short. The entirety of the story comes to about 20k words so far and I'm not finished quite yet. If y'all have something you'd like me to add, by all means, let me know. I don't mind editing an already posted chapter:)**

**Chapter 8: Keeping Her Word **

I had to admit. I had fun. Probably for the first time in ages.

"Dawn, why didn't you ever _tell _me you could drink that much?" Judy asked. She'd politely stopped at three drinks…partly because of her position as an officer of the law, and partly because she was the designated driver.

"No one ever asked. And honestly…I'd never taken the chance before." I said. I'd had more like five and I was just…tipsy. Only a little.

"Well, we made the crowd happy. It felt like we were eight years old all over again…"

""Yeah, it did. I'm glad we did it."

We made it to her car and paused a while, leaning against the side. "So…he's the one for you, isn't he?"

"David? Yeah, he is. It actually surprised me that it happened that quickly. I've prided myself on being more rational and logical than that."

"Love is one of those things that _isn't _rational, though. When it happens, it happens. A day, month, or a year…anything is possible."

"How'd you know when Nick was yours?"

Judy chuckled. "Our first day as partners on the job. I mean…I kind of threw him to the wolves after Lionheart got nabbed, and he got really upset. But how quickly he forgave me for that…"

I nodded. I had an idea of their bond too…but I was too caught up in my plot to notice it at the time.

"And now you're married. I wonder…do you plan on having children?"

"Of course. Although I realize that doing so naturally is like a needle in a haystack. But we're determined to try. What about you and David? You made any plans in that direction?"

"Heavens, we haven't even…you know…"

Her eyes widened. "You mean to tell me that you and him…haven't even slept together?"

"Oh yes—in the _literal _sense. But as far as…having done it….not yet."

"What's stopping you, Dawn? I mean…if he's really the one."

"He is. But….I'm more than a little anxious myself. I mean…can I satisfy him? Can I make it as memorable as I've played it out in my head since that day?"

"Well, I can—" she started to say, before we both heard a rustle in the bushes in front of us. A massive bear jumped out.

"Grrr…well if it isn't that bitch Bellwether and her bunny cop lackey…"

"_Excuse _me?" Judy retorted, fixing her gaze on our unexpected—and unwelcome—companion. "You've obviously had one too many to drink, so…I'll do you a favor and pretend you didn't say anything to us if you'll just do the smart thing and walk away. If not…well, the drunk tank downtown has a spot just for you."

I paused. I figured that one day I'd have to face the public about what I did…I just never expected it to be right now.

"And who's going to make me? _You?_ Or is the sheep just going to shoot me with that stuff?"

"I have nothing of the sort," I answered. "Those days are _long _behind me. I've paid my debt to society for that, and I'm just a lady enjoying a night out with my best friend. So do us a favor and let us be…"

Then I turned to Judy, "Come on, this fool isn't worth—"

I had just enough time to spin at the sound of a hammer being pulled back. Judy's back was still turned and…the gun was aimed right at her.

I shoved her aside just as the thug fired. I felt a searing pain as the bullet tore through my right shoulder.

"Dawn, _no!" _I heard Judy scream. Before he could get another shot off, Judy had quickly drawn her taser and gave the bear a twenty thousand volt nap.

I was on my back. I couldn't move my arm, and the severity of the wound wasn't immediately obvious.

Judy was shouting into her radio. "I need an ambulance stat! Shots fired, perp is down but I have a civilian in need of immediate medical assistance!"

"Ambulance inbound…" I heard from her radio. I could feel the pressure she was putting on my shoulder, tearing a strip from her dress to help bandage the wound.

I felt faint.

"Hang in there, Dawn…I have help coming…" she said, tears in her eyes despite trying to maintain a professional, trained composure.

"Thank heavens…you have police training, or else…" I said weakly.

"Don't talk so much. You're…going into shock…."

The last thing I remembered hearing before I passed out was the sound of the ambulance arriving.


	9. Chapter 9: A Question Finally Posed

**After doing as she'd once promised Nick she'd do to protect Judy, Dawn gets some recognition from the last person she'd have expected to get such from...as well as the question she's been waiting for. R&R. **

**A word about chapter length: I know some chapters are really short. This is a story I actually wrote a few months ago and just snipped into chapters to publish and try to get some feedback about this story. I still have a couple that I want to refine before posting them and I'm not finished with this story just yet ;) Thank you all for the reviews and keep them coming!**

**Chapter 9: The Question Finally Posed**

I slowly opened my eyes, a bleary world around me. I reached for my glasses…to find that David had already grabbed them and was putting them on my face.

"Thank the heavens you're all right," David said, giving me a hug and a soft kiss, which I gladly returned. "I swear, though…the next time I want to see you in a hospital bed for a long, long while is after you've given birth, should the heavens be so gracious to allow it. You've had far too many close calls with death for a lifetime."

I nodded. "Me too…"

I then registered Nick standing to the side, his eyes fixed on me. "Nick, I know…"

He walked to my side. For a moment, he said nothing. Then, suddenly, he gave me a hug and I could feel the tears on my wool.

"Thank you, Dawn. Really. I mean it." he said quietly. "She's still here because of your actions."

"Huh?"

"Her back was turned to that guy. I checked the security feed from the traffic cameras around the club. Had you not acted, the bullet would have gone straight through her heart. That was some flying tackle there."

"I didn't know that. All I knew was that I had to protect her. I _told _you, I'd take a bullet for her."

"Well, you definitely proved that. Though…I never expected you to. You were lucky too…I talked to the surgeon who patched you up. That bullet missed both your brachial artery and your spinal cord by millimeters."

David blinked, "That close?"

He nodded.

Suddenly, loud footfalls were heard and all present turned their gaze to the door…to see a truly massive water buffalo take up the entire doorway.

"Chief? This is a surprise…." Nick said, saluting along with his wife.

"As you were, Lieutenants. I wanted to see this for myself. I had a hard time, admittedly, believing who was responsible for saving the life of one of my officers."

"I just…" I started to say.

He held up a hoof. "Miss Bellwether….Dawn….there's hardly a soul in this city that doesn't know what you did five years ago. And there are many who believe you irredeemable."

"I understand, Chief…"

"However, in the face of all the evidence, I would be a fool to be one of those individuals. Your selfless act saved the life of one of my best officers. You have my gratitude as well as that of many officers on the force."

"Thank you."

"No, Dawn….thank _you. _Now, it is my understanding that you will be clear for discharge later today?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. Be at the police headquarters at eleven hundred hours tomorrow. We….have something for you." he replied before walking out.

"Wow, Dawn…you impressed the Chief. That's saying something there."

"Whatever will I wear, though?" I replied.

"What you always do. Your signature look."

I chuckled a bit. "Maybe…a new look wouldn't be so bad for this."

"Um…guys…" David spoke up. "Can I have a few minutes with her alone?"

"Sure. We need to get back to the precinct anyway. Take care of yourself, Poofs."

I blinked. "Poofs?"

"It's the code of the Nick Wilde Friends Club. Everyone gets a pet name. And you _are _poofy, I was just referring to that bob of wool on your head there," he answered with a chuckle.

"So, we really _are _friends?"

"Yeah, you earned it, Dawn," he said before following his partner out the door.

It was just me and my beloved in the room then. He sighed deeply. "You're a real magnet for close brushes with death, my dear," he finally said.

"Yeah. But I'd do it again for anyone I care about."

"I know. And that…well…I don't want to lose you."

"You won't, for as long as I have a breath in me."

He nodded. "Are you going to be okay tomorrow for whatever the Chief has in store for you?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I've learned that it's really mind over matter. Those who matter to me don't mind my past. And those that do mind it, don't matter."

"Yeah, you're right."

"Something on your mind, my dear?"

"I'm…just worried, that's all. After all, you're my sheep…"

"And you're _my _fox. Always," I answered.

He cleared his throat. "Care to make that official?"

I blinked. "How do you…" I started to say before he pulled something out of his shirt pocket. It didn't take a genius, either, to realize what he had, confirming that guess as he dropped to a knee beside the bed.

He looked up at me with his piercing blue eyes. "Dawn Lilly Marie Bellwether…" he said quietly, "will you marry me?"

I stared at him for a long moment. It didn't seem rational, did it? I mean…I'd only been out for about a month and a half.

_Oh, to hell with reason this time. I'm going to follow my heart…which he holds in his paws every day. _

"Yes, David Tennant Brushtail, I will," I answered . Then he wrapped both his arms around me and squeezed. "Easy there, my love…I'm still a bit sore, after all."

He nodded, before slipping the ring he'd brought onto my left hoof.

"It was an easy answer, David. You did, after all, save my life and my soul."

"Well, you know, there's a matter of business we have yet to take care of…"

I kissed him gently. "After I get out of here and done with whatever I have to do in the morning…I mean to take care of that."

v


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